An Instrument

I need to rest.
A lot.

And I admire those who have an innate energy
to keep going and going.

I wish I could do that.
But I can’t.

I don’t have that long lasting inner battery
that is recharged by excitement.
The one that lights you up from within.
I wish I did. But I don’t.

For a long time I compared myself with those,
who could do more than me.
With those, who didn’t require lying in bed
or taking regular naps.

I thought I lacked energy.
Or drive.

But now I’ve come to realise that, actually,
I don’t have a battery at all.

My body is an instrument.
A Violin. Or a Cello.

And just like any instrument -
it naturally gets out of tune.

Not because there is something
wrong with it.
Not at all.

Every circumstance or interaction
just asks for a specific adjustment.

An instrument needs tuning
to play the music it was born to make.

Sometimes that tuning means going for a walk, meditating,
journaling or doing breathwork.

Other times it means meeting people, socialising,
or listening to a meaningful podcast.

An instrument senses the environment.
It evaluates what it needs.
And adjusts to it.

But sometimes it takes time.
And that’s ok.

Because once it’s back in tune…
It can play unforgettable
symphonies.

With love,
E.