How to recognise when your thoughts aren’t real?
Have you ever noticed how your thoughts can shift
dramatically depending on how you’re feeling?
One moment, you’re steady and confident.
The next, your mind is spinning with anxious what-ifs,
sharp self-criticism, or an overwhelming sense
of hopelessness.
And in those moments,
it’s easy to believe the thoughts
must be true.
But here’s something important to remember:
Many of the thoughts we experience
aren’t truly ‘us.’
They are the voice of our nervous system,
trying to keep us safe.
Your Nervous System’s Way
of Communicating
Your nervous system is always scanning for cues of safety or threat, adjusting how you think and feel based on what it perceives. It’s not logical or rational — it’s protective. It shifts into different states, and with each state comes a different set of thoughts, emotions, and impulses.So if your thoughts feel harsh, urgent, or hopeless, it doesn’t mean you’re failing or that you’re broken.
It means your nervous system is responding to
what it believes you need in that moment.
Let’s explore how different nervous system states
shape our thoughts…
— — —
Calm:
The State of Presence & Flow
When your nervous system feels safe,
your thoughts feel steady and expansive.
You’re present, creative, and kind to yourself.
You might notice thoughts like:
“ I've got this. I trust myself.”
“ One step at the time, and I'll figure it out.”
“ I'm allowed to be human.”
“ This is an opportunity to learn.”
“ We don't have to agree on everything.”
“ I don't need to be perfect for others to love me.”
In this state, you can see possibilities.
Challenges feel manageable.
There’s space to breathe.
— — —
Fight:
The Urge to Defend
When your system senses a challenge or threat,
it might push you into fight mode —
fueled by frustration, anger, urgency,
and the need to protect yourself.
You might notice thoughts like:
" We need to sort it out right now! ”
“ I'’ve had enough of this! ”
“ I won't tolerate this anymore! ”
“ This isn’t fair. How dare they?”
“ Why does everything always fall on me?”
“ I don't have time for this right now! ”
“ Why aren't you listening to me?! ”
These thoughts arise because your body
is gearing up to confront a perceived threat,
even if it is in your own thoughts.
— — —
Flight:
The Need to Escape
When stress feels overwhelming,
your system might shift into flight mode,
making you feel restless and pressured
to keep moving.
In this state your nervous system believes
safety lies in escape, leading to thoughts focused on
the urgency to avoid or escape.
Your body is prioritizing safety by seeking
distance from what feels threatening.
You might notice thoughts like:
“ I need to keep going or I will fall behind.”
“ There is no room for mistakes.”
“ I have to keep everything under control.”
“ If I'm not doing something, I'm wasting my time.”
“ I’m overwhelmed, but I don't have time to relax.”
“ I should always keep the conversation going so it doesn't get awkward.”
It’s your body trying to protect you
by keeping you ahead of the ‘danger’ —
even when that danger is just
a packed schedule or a tough conversation.
— — —
Freeze:
The Inner Tug-of-War
Sometimes, instead of pushing
forward or running away,
your system freezes —
caught between “I want to” and “I can’t.”
When in the freeze state,
thoughts can feel stuck or paralyzed,
reflecting the nervous system’s choice
to ‘be still’ for safety.
Your nervous system is trying to protect you
by keeping you still until the threat passes...
You might notice thoughts like:
" I have sooo much to do...
But I can't seem to make myself do anything.”“ I really want to seize this opportunity…
But I'm too scared to take this step.”“ The longer I wait, the harder it feels to begin.
I should just begin... But I can't. What's wrong with me?”“ We need to talk about this,
but I don't know how to bring it up...
So I'll just ignore it.”
Freeze can feel frustrating,
but it’s not laziness —
it’s your body conserving energy,
waiting for safety before moving forward.
— — —
Fawn:
Seeking Safety Through Connection
In fawn mode, your nervous system
believes the safest option is to please others,
even at your own expense.
You might notice thoughts like:
“ If I can make them happy, then everything will be okay.”
“ I don’t want to upset anyone.”
“ If I say no, they might think I'm selfish or rude.”
“ I'll just go along with it. I don't want to argue.”
“ I don't want to let anyone down.”
“ I hope they like me.
I can't stand the thought of anyone being disappointed in me.”
This response comes from a deep survival instinct —
to secure safety through approval and connection.
— — —
Shutdown:
When Everything Feels Heavy
When the nervous system is
overwhelmed beyond its capacity,
it can enter shutdown —
a state of deep exhaustion,
numbness, and disconnection.
In shutdown, your body tries
to conserve energy in response
to overwhelm.
Your body is lovingly shielding you from
physical or emotional pain by making
you feel less.
You might notice thoughts like:
" What’s the point?”
“ I don’t have the energy for this.”
“ I don't feel motivated to do anything.”
“ Nothing will change, so why bother?”
“ I'm so tired even thinking about it.”
“ The things that used to make me happy don't feel the same.
Nothing sparks my joy anymore.”
This isn’t a lack of motivation —
it’s a sign that your system is trying
to protect you by retreating inward.
— — —
Your Thoughts Are Not the Truth —
They Are a Response
When your thoughts feel critical, anxious,
absolute, or hopeless, remember:
They are not the full story of your abilities or worth.
They are simply your nervous system’s way of protecting you.
And they will shift as your body feels safer.
So instead of believing every thought,
pause and ask yourself:
“ What state might my nervous system
be in right now?”
This shift in perspective allows you to
meet yourself with compassion.
To recognize that the heaviness,
the urgency, the doubt —
it’s not ‘you.’
And just like a wave,
it will pass.
Your worth is steady.
Your core self remains whole.
And even when your nervous system
is working overtime, you are
always, always enough.
With love,
Elina
Would you like support in
shifting out of stress and
back into ease?
My breathwork and energy healing sessions
are designed to guide your nervous system
back to safety.
Learn more here
